Classic This!

One of the truest misnomers that I have been privy to and have come across, collectively speaking, from my students of yore, and more recently, individuals that have left their thoughts and insights on the closet

streaming channel that I broadcast from on the internet. This misconception even travels as far as the Turner 'Classic' Movie channel (blech) which I feel is the devil's syndicate itself. Okay, I will throw one ever so slight bone their way, as I do have a soft-spot for the soft-spoken host Robert Osbourne, we are cut the same film historian cloth, after all.


 And you may not believe this tidbit I about to share with thee, but there are some folk that actually hold the belief that any film produced pre-1970 is a no doubt-about-it, bonafide, card-carrying, good ol' classic film. And let me tell you this - it ain't so Joe, it ain't so!

                           
                            And why am I so classic, is it my pearls, the gloves, can you explain?

                         

Deeming for the sake of example, 1955's This Island Earth a classic is equally as egregious as considering Hal Ashby's 1971 bleak comedy Harold and Maude the greatest cult film of all time. And furthermore, how does one consider Harold and Maude such an 'out there' film anyway?  I have yet to come across a person that has not seen the film, and that can't note for note recite about an hour of its dialogue. In fact, I believe Harold and Maude may be the new (am I talking to you)? Taxi Driver (for the regurgitation factor)Do you know that for the past twelve years on satellite television at some point of the day, Taxi Driver will be broadcast, it's not a gospel, it's a given, and in fact it's on right now! Seriously! So I ask you this, does that make it classic? Or just perhaps classically beaten to death?

  Oh, so this is what all the cool kids must be watching? wheyey!

What constitutes a classic film? Some theorists, (myself not included) believe that the recipe for a classic film is that it transcends fads and concurrent times, that these films be en masse favourites, and/ or seen as  'American folklore.' And yes they are quantified as being American productions. That means you keep far away Godard and don't even think about it Mr. Leone, you are barred too! The ostrich effect is still very much alive and kicking, as you can see boys and girls.

I eschew the term "classic," and go through great pains when I find myself in some random scenario, where, let's just say the person that corners me, in hopes to impart this wisdom onto me, (an actual historian), as if that were not degrading enough - proceeds in full throttle impertinence to inform me that so-and-so film is just the greatest classic ever. As if William Shakespeare himself magically Lazarused himself and adapted his own canon, this time as a director. But something is fetid in that state of Denmark. That surely, anything shot in black-and-white, (not Technicolor mind), because it has to be black-and-white to be "classic," according to so many. All my years masochistically spent deconstructing, educating, and  reviewing films must have truly been for nowt. I would honestly like to see this spurious adjective "classic" removed and banished completely from the lexicon. That's the answer, nothing is a classic, some will be works of unmitigated genius, and most (today's offerings) will leave the cerebellum in a state of malnutrition.